I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
