I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
