she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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