"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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