She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
