See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just had sex on a roof
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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