absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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