I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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