We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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