There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
