How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
