just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
