Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize