so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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