is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
