D3 body, D1 cock
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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