using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
