walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
