Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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