I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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