just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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