Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
