walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
