your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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