I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
foreskin is a definite game changer
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
