How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
