So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
