I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
