if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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