She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
