why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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