So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
