So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
