I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
did i walk over a car last night?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
