There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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