i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
