Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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