ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
