I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
