Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
