I'm jealous of your bromance
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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