HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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