Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
