why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
