Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
