i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
