yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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