its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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