Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
