in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
