i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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