Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
