Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
