i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
