i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
