I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
