office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
